Goodbye my lover, Goodbye my friend

May you touch Dragonflies and Stars, 

Dance with fairies, 

and talk to the moon

Darren Paul Goble - born 17th October 1965, Kent, England

Died 1st August 2023, Rockingham, Western Australia

Rest in Peace

We met in 1985, you were only 19 years old and I was already 22. We met at a wedding, you were a total dag and played the drums on my head when we were dancing.

My boyfriend had broken up with me that afternoon and didn't plan on taking me to the wedding, because surprise surprise, he was two timing me and took the other girl. But I was pissed off with him because I had already been to the kitchen tea and bought an outfit for the wedding, so went by myself anyway. Best decision of my life.

I spent the night dancing with most of the grooms mates and had a great time. About a week later Darren rang me to ask me out. He had asked my ex-boyfriend for my number, who very kindly shared it!!

I said no the first time, but you persisted and rang me again. I eventually said yes and we went on a date. I lived at home with my parents and you lived at home with your parents. No mobiles and barely any freeway - it took an hour to travel from my place to yours.

We moved out in 1986, got engaged in 1987 and married 18th June 1988 at the Cottesloe Civic Centre.

After a miscarriage I fell pregnant and gave birth to our only child, Sarah in 1994.

Fast forward to 2020/2021. You ended up in hospital and were told that if you did not stop drinking you were on track to be dead in 2 years. We had a few hiccups and then more hospital visits, more advice that if you did not stop drinking you would be dead in a few months. This time you took it seriously. You were having more hospital visits because by now you had ascites. 

They said you need to have been dry for 12 mths before being eligible to apply for a liver transplant.

You did the 12mths, it was hard for all of us, especially for you. But you went from strength to strength and was doing so well.

They started testing you to get you onto the transplant list and then the bombshell. 17th March 2023, two days before our daughters birthday. Another routine hospital visit. We were out shopping and preparing for Sarahs birthday. Lots and lots of plans.

You rang crying to say that you had terminal liver cancer and had less than 6 months to live. 

Initially they said, no treatment was available. Then two weeks later they had discussed it and decided to try some aggressive radiation treatment. A trial run with a low dose and then within 1-2 weeks the real thing. They targeted the tumour directly into the liver. They flew the treatment in from Singapore just for you.

But the tumour was so aggressive it outgrew the area that had been treated. 

You went to Charles Gairdner hospital on the Friday 21 July and was released on the Wednesday 26 July.

I visited you on the Sunday 23 July and while I was there, you said to me 3 times, can you finish work now, don't go to work on Monday. I remember walking out of the hospital with your sister Lisa and saying to her 'I think I need to ring my boss and stop working now, straight away. Because if he only has say 5 weeks, then I don't want to regret not stopping when he asks me to'. He knew!! 

I rang him later that night to tell him I had called my boss and told her I would not be back for a while, little did I know how little time we had.

I booked Shane's flight and you got out of bed to come with me to the airport. For the first time, you told me you didn't feel well enough to drive. I should have known then, but I didn't want to listen.

We picked Shane up from the airport and within the hour you asked me to take you to our local hospital. I remember saying, ' can you wait while I pack a bag and grab something to eat!' That was Sunday 30th July.

We arrived in ER at Rockingham Hospital and spent about 1 1/2 hours in the waiting room until a beautiful nurse jumped you past the queue of people waiting and got you into ER into a bed.

Its a bit of a blur now, but about midnight or 1 am a beautiful, plain speaking lovely female doctor came and spoke to us.

Among other things she said that your potassium levels were dangerously high and in her opinion we needed to call your family as she did not think you had more than 24 - 48 hours to live.

I called our daughter Sarah and Shane and got them to the hospital to say goodbye. I rang your sister Lisa and told her. 

Monday 31st July - About 9am in the morning (I think) they moved you to your own room in a surgical ward.

You wanted them to try doing a drain of your stomach; they decided to use it as a training exercise and had about 6 trainee doctors standing around. But after trying about 3 times, they were not able to get any of the fluids out.

I spent all day with you and left about 6:30pm - I had been at the hospital for about 24 hours without sleep and had to go home. Your brother in law John asked if we were ok with him going and staying with you. Unknown to us, they kicked him out and called security about 11pm.

I woke late and had a shower and was getting some food and my mobile rang with a local number, you had asked the staff to ring me. You were in a huge panic and asked me to come to the hospital. Shane rushed over to you while I finished getting ready.

We spent the day together with you getting progressively worse. Every time you said you were in pain I asked for more pain relief, knowing that it wouldn't be long. Sarah lay down with you and had a hug for a while. She said she could hear a rattle. Your mum visited for a short time before your sister Lisa took her home.

You said you were in pain. I rang the nurse and she went to get pain relief. 

At 5.58pm on the 1st August 2023, while waiting for the nurse to return with pain meds; we were all there -  with Sarah, your sister Lisa, John and my sister Lisa and myself in the room, you sat up in a panic because you could not breathe and Sarah and Lisa calmed you down and held your hands.  Your last breath went out of you as we watched. My sister ran for the nurse, but you were gone by the time they arrived.

I miss you so much at times, that I don't know how I can keep going. Then I look at our beautiful daughter and realise that she keeps me here. 

You were only 57 years old. Your birthday is coming up and we plan to spend the day celebrating your life and our love for you.

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